I don’t think much. I mean, I obviously do have thoughts, but I don’t really ponder things that often, I tend to just observe and do. I have been told that I’m ‘hard to read’, but on the few occasions when I would consider myself to be really THINKING, someone has always asked me: ‘Are you okay?’
The last time it happened I laughed out loud.
“Do you know, someone asks me that every time I actually think” I said to my mate Chris. “It happens about once or twice a year.”
As I said, I obviously do have thoughts, but when I’ve listened to people tell me about their torturous sounding inner monologues I’ve thought (ha!) to myself: ‘Wow. That’s not how my mind is at all.’
Generally I observe and do and sometimes all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, I have ideas. These usually come to me at the most inopportune times, and are usually fully formed. It doesn’t really even feel like they are mine, it’s more like they’ve come from somewhere else, although that’s obviously nonsense. The subconscious is a weird thing.
My mate Matt always used to ask me silly questions while I was mixing tunes. ‘How did you do that just now?’, ‘What did you do to get that blend like that?’ (He isn’t a DJ himself) and one day, having been driven mad by this nonsense, I shouted at him ‘I don’t KNOW! I don’t do it, GOD DOES IT!’ (I don’t believe in God). Well, the ideas are a bit like that.
Also sometimes I can get very strong and inexplicable feelings from places. I wouldn’t really call these thoughts. This is very deep when it happens and reassures me that I have something about me. My actual thoughts are more like ‘Nice one, got tomatoes in the fridge’, ‘Blue wall – cool!’, ‘Good tune!’ and they dart about all over the place and are usually not even in words anyway.
Sometimes I just stare at the wall and inadvertently think about nothing. Most of the time I am constantly doing something (I don’t really ‘chill’), so I imagine my mind needs these breaks.
I remember when I found out that I had a high IQ that is in like the top zero point zero zero whatever percentage of everyone, the first thing I thought was ‘Wow. The world’s fucked then.’
I hope most intelligent people think more than I do, then maybe the world will be ok. I have noticed that being able to figure things out quickly and thinking deeply about things do not correlate. There are both smart people and slow people who are deep thinkers.
Topically, having not thought it through, I don’t really know where I’m going with this. But if you ever catch me staring into space looking pained, nothing bad has happened, I am probably just thinking. It’s hard work.